The UX guy at my previous agency said I should have consulted an expert before I designed this site. I think he was referring to himself, but I can't be sure.  

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On the other hand, maybe the design here is a little childish. 

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MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE CONSULTED AN EXPERT.

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I've been an MFA reject, a busboy, a bartender, unemployed, an unpaid intern, (briefly) a sportswriter, a freelance writer, a managing editor, an Editor-in-Chief, a Chief Content Officer, a freelance copywriter, a digital copywriter, a Senior Copywriter, and an Associate Creative Director of Copy.

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I 've written radio spots, TV spots, billboards, bad puns, bus wraps, train wraps, emails, social posts,  style guides, character treatments, good puns, positioning things, manifestos that don't really serve any purpose, egregiously strained puns, educational betting cartoons with Kenny Mayne, and then a whole Bet-A-Verse of films and television to atone for all of that.​

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But I am still trying to write one, really good short story.